Hot Chocolate Smorgasbord

I'm so proud of myself for keeping up a few of my New Year's resolutions. Hot Chocolate almost every night, I read an ENTIRE book, and I'm into a new TV series on Netflix that has brought me some great entertainment.  You may say I'm totally nailing it. 

Other unmentioned goals have not been so successful.  

Last week was a rough one.  Corbin contracted Croup and took a trip to the ER.  That poor little guy can't catch a break.  My anxiety level before bed is pretty high because I'm so worried he can't breath. He keeps waking up with snot all over his face, mad as heck that his nose is plugged up. 

Emme went on a 3 day hiatus from sleep.  It caused some major behavioral issues and finally after a broken down prayer I had the thought to just hold her and play with her hair. Sounds dumb, but Emme has always been pretty good about going to sleep without our support.  Ninety nine percent of the time it creates more problems if we try to soothe her than it helps.  The thought to hold her didn't cross my mind before. Sure enough, she finally succumbed to sleep and took a much needed nap.  The power went out and woke her up so she came out of her room and then fell asleep on the couch for a few more hours. I tried waking her up several times, but she wouldn't budge. I was worried she wouldn't sleep that night, but she went down with no issues and slept the whole night. 

I'll be vaque on the rest, but let's just say I was pretty broken down by Thursday.  Friday, Gregg decided to take the day off. Something he's never done, but we needed it.  I needed it.  Since then I've felt much better and don't get me wrong, there are good things happening as well. 

I hate that my blog has turned into a whine fest as of late.  My kids do bring me insurmountable amounts of joy and if I didn't love them as much as I do, I wouldn't be so dang stressed all the time. Sleep deprivation does crazy things to the mind. Corbin is starting to sleep 8hrs a night more consistently so there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  He gives the biggest smiles a coos the cutest sounds.  I love kissing his soft little cheeks.  Emme says the cutest things and I wish I could record her all day to catch her funny phrases.  The other day she got three Hershey squares for going poo in the toilet. She broke one off for me and then split the third in half and handed a piece to me.  I could have squeezed her to death.  I was so proud.  We're having breakthroughs and it warms my heart.  

Here's to more sleep, health, and hot chocolate headed my way. 

You Might Need a Nap If...

You fall asleep sitting up while playing play dough with your daughter. 

You get a bib for your baby only to put it in your three year old instead.

You don't realize your mistake until your three year old asks why you put her baby brother's bib on her.   She does look pretty silly.  

You husband looks at you like you've lost your mind. 

You have. 

You don't understand why the lid to the water jug won't fit on the baby's bottle.  Slowly it dawns on you the two don't go together. 

You have every intention of getting ready and cleaning the house, but eventually tell yourself you can do it tomorrow. 

Tomorrow turns into a week. 

You are dizzy from lack of sleep. 

Dizziness makes you run into walls. 

You finally get a nap and wake up in a panic because your clock says 5:30 and you think it's am, but it's really pm. It takes you several minutes to figure it out. 

Even in your dreams you dream of sleeping.  

You are in bed at 9:00 writing a blog with every intention of being asleep in two seconds. 

My Unhealthy Resolutions

You scare me '14. 

If I had one goal this year it would simply be to survive.  Which does not seem very simple at times. 

Gregg will be in the MBA program all year.  This is the only year that will happen as he started in May of 2013 and will end in May of 2015. Which kind of makes me sound like a baby now that I read that. It could be so much worse, but if you've read this blog for long you know that I am in no doubt a baby.  So wah...

Gregg being in school has been a huge sacrifice for us.  I feel like we are barely keeping our heads above ground.  Most days it's more like I'm sucking in dirt.  I just pray it's all worth it in the end.  This will be a hard 365 days though.

What is my plan of action to "survive" this year?  I have no idea, but I will tell you how I will make it through the ugly months of January and February.

Diet Coke.  It has become a delicacy as of late because Gregg stopped drinking soda months ago and it is no longer a staple in our home.  A trip to the drive through of Mickey Dees for their Diet Coke will be like a trip to paradise.  

TV.  After the kiddos go to bed and Gregg is at school or studying, you better believe I will be catching up on my favorite shows. Luckily, a bunch will start up this week.  I won't tell you which ones because a few are embarrassing,  but if you want a hint one of them rhymes with the thatchelor.

Books. I love to read, but this last year I only read a handful of books.  Escaping to a different time, place, or dimension is just what I need.  If it means less sleep, so be it!  Well, actually I really need sleep right now so I'll figure that all out later.  

Amazon. Thanks to Prime we are addicted to Amazon. It has cut down leaving the house tremendously.  With being alone a lot, working when Gregg IS home, a little girl who doesn't function in stores, and a baby who screams the entire time he's in a car seat, I don't like to set out of the house much.  I rarely make it to get groceries so Amazon is a perfect solution for miscellaneous items. 

Hot Chocolate.  It's so dang fattening, but oh so warm and creamy.  Plus, I've discovered Reddi Whip makes it that much more awesome.

Work.  It has been so amazing to have a salon in my home.  Had I not decided to do this before Corbin was born, things would be really messy right now.  The babysitter I had for Emme moved far away and with Corbin as sick as he was last month I wouldn't have been able to work at all.  I love that I can work while Gregg is home.  My clients are the best and I get adult interaction.  It's been such a blessing. 

Fast Food.  I hate you, but I love you.  I'm so tired as of late that my body screams for sleep.  Every muscle and every brain cell is crying in pain for some shut eye.  Corbin has slept through the night once, but Emme woke up several times that night.  She's has been struggling to stay asleep for the last few months.  A curse of ADHD.  What does that have to do with fast food?  I'm tired ya'll.  I don't have time to cook while Corbin is screaming and Emme is destroying.  I rarely make it to the store.  Good ol' Gregg has been picking things up during his lunch break.  So yes, fast food will have to do for a little while.  That and eggs.  We eat a lot of eggs.  

There you have it.  My survival guide 2.0.  I may come out of this year a little/alot heavier, and a little older looking, but I will still be standing.  Or crawling or rolling.  The point is... I will survive.

Apology from the Circus

Dear Doctor,

I would like to apologize for the unexpected circus show you were witness to today.  

Thank you for holding my baby while I took my three year old to the bathroom to clean up her poopy butt three seconds after you walked in the room.  I know you had a thousand other things you could have been doing.  Emme has decided to give up on potty training.  If you want to call it that.  She has been "training" for over a year and she could give a crap less.  Pun intended.

Sorry Corbin screamed for 99% of the visit.  I know how hard it is to concentrate with a screaming baby.  I'm glad you called for backup.  I'm pretty sure that nurse will forever dread our appointments.  Thanks to the chaos I paid no attention to my baby's stats and instead focused my energy on keeping Emme away from your computer and medical supplies.

If you at any point you looked at Emme and thought "wow, this little girl is like a rabid raccoon stuck in a cage," then we were on the same page.  She was extra feisty today.  Actually, that's just what I tell people so they don't think she's like that all the time.  She is.  

Speaking of raccoons, does she always treat Corbin like a juicy steak?  Why yes, yes she does. Don't worry,  I NEVER put him down if she's in the room with him. Thanks for being concerned for his safety and to answer your question, yes, it is exhausting.  

Also, thanks for breaking the news softly that my poor two month old has bronchiolitis and torticollis.   I look forward to spending the next three weeks stuck in the house while my sick little baby coughs up his lungs.  I also look forward to the added physical therapy appointments I totally have time for.  Not that I'm blaming you of course.  It's just a series of unfortunate events.  

Lastly, please personally apologize to your front desk ladies that my daughter emulated Darla from Finding Nemo.  If your fish hide from you for now on, you know who to blame.  I hope the big sticker you gave her comes off the tank eventually.  I tried my best to peel it off, but it was a lost cause. The sticker she stuck on the table shouldn't stick as long.  I wouldn't know though as I decided getting our Ringling show out of there was more important and your secretary readily agreed.  

When our time was finally coming to an end I saw the pity in your eyes.  Your words of kindness made me choke up and I could not speak.  I pray for the day our hard work pays off and you no longer look at me with sad eyes.  I love my children ADHD, colic, reflux, rabidness, and all.  I hope that shows through the shadows under my eyes.

Your patience was much appreciated.
  

Sincerely,
The Animal Handler  

Mary's Lullaby

As I mentioned before, this Christmas season has been tame.  Having a very sick baby has given me a lot of cuddle time which means I've had a lot of time to think.  I've dreamed of having a baby boy since before I knew of our infertility.  To actually have this said baby in my arms is surreal.  

While I was holding Corbin during singing time in Primary the chorister pointed out to the kids that Gregg and I were like Mary and Joseph. Joseph was not Christ's biological father, but he was given the responsibility to raise him.  Someone also chose us to be Corbin's parents and has put a lot of faith in us.  

For the first time ever I have really reflected about Mary's feelings upon meeting her baby boy that sacred humble night.  Unlike Mary, my son will not redeem the world, but LIKE Mary I worry about the trials my small babe will endure in the future.  I know he will only be little for a short time and soon enough the world will be against him.  Will I be able to protect him?  

Eventually, he will be his own person.  I hope he will have a desire to marry and have children.  I hope I can teach him to be a good husband and father.  I hope he will know what the spirit feels like and will follow Heavenly Father's plan for him.  

I have many hopes and dreams for his life on this Earth.  Right now though, he is mine.  He is a perfect child of God.

We sang the most beautiful song in my church choir for our Christmas meeting.  I'm thankful for Mary and her willingness to raise our Lord and Redeemer.  I'm thankful for Christ who died for my children.  I wish you all a very beautiful Christmas.  One where you can reflect on the miraculous event that saved us all. 





Mary's Lullaby

All mine in your loveliness baby, all mine. 
All mine in your holiness baby divine. 
Sing on herald angels in chorus sublime; 
Sing on and adore, for tonight you are mine. 

The wise men are coming to worship their King, 
The shepherds are kneeling their homage to bring. 
Out yonder the star over Judah will keep. 
No harm will befall thee, then sleep baby sleep. 

O let me enfold thee, my baby tonight, 
While legions are singing in joyous delight. 
A new star has risen to hail thee divine, 
For you are a king, but tonight you are mine. 

Away spectered future of sorrow and plight, 
Away to the years that must follow tonight. 
The pangs of Gethsemane, let them be dim, 
The red drops on Calvary, not Lord, for Him! 

O let me enfold thee, my baby tonight, 
While legions are singing in joyous delight. 
A new star has risen to hail thee divine, 
For you are a king, but tonight you are mine. 

All mine in your loveliness baby, all mine.
All mine in your holiness baby divine.
Sing on herald angels in chorus sublime; 
Sing on and adore, for tonight you are mine.

Ode to Next December

December 2013....You suck.

I'm tired, so very tired.  I blame December.  I blame winter.  I blame asthma, bronchiolitis, and ADHD.

Poor, poor Corbin had a brutal two month check up.  He has bronchiolitis, torticollis, reflux, and his little tummy hurts a lot.  He's been a really fussy baby, but I would be too if I had to deal with all of that.  I'm over him coughing up mucous while I watch helplessly, but here's to a few more weeks of it.  I don't suggest it to anyone.  Then there's the torticollis that requires physical therapy.  I'm too tired to explain anymore.  The best news is that we are now proud owners of the most expensive formula out there for his hurting stomach.  We call it liquid gold.  It may actually be more pricey that gold.  It smells bad and costs as much as a car payment, but he has been so much happier on it.  I would pay hundreds more because he seems to feel better and we no longer have a screaming baby for 8hrs straight.  Let's pray it continues to work.

Then there's Emme.  Emme is as Emme does and Emme does some beautiful poo art.  Said no one ever.  Except maybe Emme.  Her mirror recently got a brown make over if you know what I'm saying.  I hope for the day she can be trusted around her own feces.  Or any feces for that matter.

Then there's Christmas.  Oh Christmas.  You will be very simple this year.  Corbin is just too sick to go out in this crappy air.  Trust me, I've tried.  It has not been a festive year whatsoever.  I hate the pressure of Christmas.  If I've learned one thing throughout this month, it would be that it's okay if you don't have Elf on a Shelf, you haven't been to temple square, you only put up a few decorations, and the only Christmasy thing you've done is stare at a broken gingerbread house.  You will survive and your children will not be scarred for life.  I think.

Here's to hoping December 2014 will be a little less sucky.  

Baby Looga

"Emme what did you do at school today?"

"I have a baby Looga!"

"What is a Looga?"

"A baby Looga!" 

"What is a Looga?"

"A BABY LOOGA!!!" 

"What does a Looga look like?" 

"A whale!"  As in duh, mom. 

She then ran to her backpack and pulled out the cutest Looga I've ever seen.