Super Nanny 911

Several months ago Emme's therapist referred us to a program that would help us specifically in our home since we were still having some major issues at the time.

It's an eight week program that's essentially like the show Super Nanny.  A lady observes us for a week and then teaches us all new skills for the next 7 weeks.  She spends about 8-10 hours with us every week so it's pretty intense.

I forgot all about it until I got a phone call recently saying we could start the next day.  I was a bit nervous to have someone in our home for such an extensive amount of time.  I mean, who can keep their house clean for that long?!  Not to mention every weakness I have would be on display and scrutinized extensively.  For real...no one needs to know that I rarely cook dinner and drink 44oz Dirty Diet Cokes on the daily.  Did I say that out loud?

We started a few weeks ago and just got done with the observation stage.  I just learned my first new skill on Friday and Emme will start working on her's this coming week.  I was pretty skeptical at first, but now I can't say enough how grateful I am to be a part of this program.  Our helper was very complimentary of me and even started me a few steps ahead since I was somewhat doing what they teach already.  Let me just toot my own horn here...toot toot.

Everything they teach is written down in a binder and put in steps which is exactly how my brain works.  I love that we have somewhat of a plan and have someone right there to help us implement the new tools.  Will it fix Emme's ADHD?  Not necessarily, but it will help her to learn how to deal with frustrations and how to cope in situations that are difficult for her.  It will also give us as parents the keys to support her now and in the future.  

I'm so proud of Emme and the hard work she has done to get to where she is.  She has to overcome so much every day just to accomplish simple tasks that other kids her age just know naturally.  So many people mention how they don't know how we handle Emme's intensity every day, but Emme is the one with the disability.  She is the one that has to struggle and try to retrain her brain all day every day.  She is a fighter.

Rocking the IEP

Emme starts preschool tomorrow through our school district.  Hallelujah friends!

We've been working on this since May so it's kind of a big deal.  If I've learned anything about getting help for your special needs child, it would be that everything takes time.

If you read this post you remember how frustrated I was.  Well, let me just back track a bit.

Remember how I said I was going to call the school district every day until I got answers?  I did that for a few days until I remembered I had one of the evaluator's cell numbers from when she called in early July.  I became one of "those moms" that went a little too far.  As I like to say though, "too far yet effective."

Wouldn't ya know...I got a phone call back that same day.  Booyah.  Pretty much it was just to tell me they would make sure we were called back soon with an appointment for an evaluation.  About a week later we were called and able to schedule an appt for a month out.

Here's where the miracles started.  I was really nervous Emme wouldn't get qualified, because we had already gone through this process and she was denied.  In fact she was a perfect angel the first time.  We felt like fools and were looked at like it was more of bad parenting than anything.  Now we had a years worth of paperwork from her therapeutic school, a psychiatrist eval, and a therapist eval.  Even her pediatrician stood behind us this time.  All of these busy women took time to write a page full of what they had witnessed and reasons why Emme would benefit from having an IEP (individual education plan).  I didn't even ask her psychiatrist to write anything, but she had a paper waiting for me when I dropped Emme off for therapeutic school.  If you only knew how busy this lady is, you would be shocked.

After gathering together what felt like enough paperwork to buy a house, we were ready for the evaluation.  Emme started out excited that five adults were so interested in her.  They had a bunch of toys that she stayed occupied with for the first half hour.  Once again, she was acting like a perfect normal child which I assure you, never happens in public places or well...anywhere.  Then came time to take her to the bathroom and she didn't want to go.  That's when the running, biting, and screaming started.  I just kept thinking "praise the Lord!"

After two and a half hours they finally encircled me on their tiny kid chairs and all agreed Emme would benefit from having an IEP.  I could ran out the doors with my arms open wide singing The Hills Are Alive!!  (For the record I'm not thrilled over my child having disabilities, but she does... so I'm thrilled that she is receiving help.)

All of this is a huge answer to my prayers.  Our daily struggles have hit an all time high (hence the lack of blogging) and we all needed this.  I don't always like the trials I am given and they may last far longer than I think I'm capable of, but every now and again I am given miracles throughout the hardship to let me know that He is aware.

 

A Mother Of Two

From January 2013-February 2013 Emme had already had three evaluations and another one set up for May.  We jumped right into Occupational Therapy through early intervention and had appointments every other week.  Her sensory disorder was overwhelming to learn about at first, but it was very eye opening.  Her behavior was out of control, but until her eval in May with a Behavioral Therapist I was at a loss on how to best help her.  We were struggling, but she still napped for three hours a day and Gregg wasn't in school yet so I felt like we were surviving.

Towards the end of February Gregg learned he was excepted into a great MBA program and would start the beginning of May.  It was an answer to our prayers. We knew if Gregg were to get in a career that would both benefit him and our family he needed to first further his education.

Towards the end of March we received the amazing news that another child would be joining our family. A true miracle and another testament that everything happens in God's timing and not ours.

I was thrilled to be getting another baby.  Emme's biological sibling no less.  There was one big problem though.  I felt I was failing miserably as Emme's mother.  Once Gregg started school and I was home alone most of the time reality really set in.  There were more days than I can count where I broke down and cried wondering how I would ever be able to be a mother of two children.

I often demanded in my prayers that this coming baby better be the easiest baby in the world.  I had no energy left.  I prayed for more strength and patience every day, but the truth is, Emme was still Emme and I was still exhausted.  There was no huge weight lifted and I didn't receive an extra boost in patience all of the sudden.  The thing is, He knew.  I honestly believe He knew I wasn't bluffing.  I couldn't be a mother of two without help.

After, Emme had been going to a Behavioral Therapist for a couple months she highly recommended that Emme attend their therapy school.  We agreed and also felt strongly that she attend their school, but it was very expensive.  We qualified for a small grant, but even then it was out of our budget.  We still knew she needed to go, so we went forward in faith that the money would come from somewhere.  Although, it was more likely that we won the lottery than it was that we would come up with the extra cash.

The time came when I got a phone call from the financial lady at her school.  She said I needed to come in that day to discuss our fee.  I went in dragging my feet knowing we really didn't have the money.  She went over our last years taxes and had me sign a few things.  Then at the bottom of the page she wrote our monthly total and handed me the paper.  I saw a huge $0.  I looked at her like, "this can't be right.  We must be a lot poorer than I thought."  She finally explained that the school had gotten a huge grant from the government and in order to use it all, all of their kids got to attend school for free until next July.  Emme literally started school the week it went into effect so we never had to pay a dime.

So not only was Emme able to attend a therapy school for free and learn very important skills, but I was going to have a big chunk of my mornings free.  Until Corbin was born, of course.  Like I said before, Heavenly Father knew I couldn't do it without help so He paved the way for outside help.

to be continued...

A Trio of Good Days

If you don't have anything nice to say.....

I've been a little absent lately.  There have been some real lows when it comes to Emme's behavior and my attitude.  I just couldn't bring myself to share them.  I was telling her therapist yesterday, that there are days we just hold on and try to survive.  There is no reasoning on those days just a lot of damage control and tears.  On a particular hard day when Gregg had school, I had finally had enough and just started crying.   Poor sensitive Corbin starting crying in my lap and Emme who had been laughing in my face all day despite my fury, finally realized mom had lost it and started crying too.  I'm sure we were a nice sight.  Emme excitedly shared our cry fest experience with her therapist in our next session. I can only imagine what she thought. 

Despite having some really crummy days I feel it important to write that the last three days have been somewhat pleasant.  Emme has slept through the night AND napped all three days!  That's pretty awesome ya'll!  Sleep=a much easier Emme.  I met with her pyschiatrist a little while ago and we decided to make a few little changes.  For example, I now pick her up from school every day so she won't fall asleep on the bus.  Emme has now graduated to sitting in the seat closest to the driver which is the last resort before bus time goes bye bye.  I'm sure her bus driver is relieved to be Emme free for part of the day.  It's a pain to cut Corbin's nap short every day and drive 30 minutes round trip, but so worth it to have Emme nap at home.

Other Positive Emme Notes: 

No poo smeared mirrors. In fact she has been really good about the whole potty thing lately.  She's even been wearing two piece jammies which hasn't happened in over a year due to her poo obsession.  

She asked me to "please get her more milk" and brought me her sippy cup.  A more normal occurrence would be her throwing her empty cup while screaming hysterically. 

On three different occasions she expressed her desire to hit me and Corbin.  I congratulated her for using her words instead of immediately lashing out.  She answered with "yeah mom!  I didn't kick you!"  Good job my little bug. 

After one of her naps she came and got me and asked if I would lay by her because it was still sleep time.  After following her in her room she handed me her favorite blanket and her pillow pet then laid back down in her bed.  I can assure you that has never happened.   

She was focused enough after school to tell me about her day.  Sure it included throwing all the toys at her teacher, but this was big for me. Usually she is either too tired to function or honestly cannot keep a thought long enough to answer let alone understand or care what I'm asking in the first place.

While having a play date with a friend at Discovery Gateway she only hit one kid the entire two hours and that was only when him and his brothers were in her space big time and the "victim" stole her toy.  The mom was a major beast about it, but we'll talk more on that later.  Her therapist and I deemed it a huge success.

Here's hoping for FOUR pleasant days.  Wish me luck.

  

Baby Looga

"Emme what did you do at school today?"

"I have a baby Looga!"

"What is a Looga?"

"A baby Looga!" 

"What is a Looga?"

"A BABY LOOGA!!!" 

"What does a Looga look like?" 

"A whale!"  As in duh, mom. 

She then ran to her backpack and pulled out the cutest Looga I've ever seen. 

Corbin's Story::Meeting Corbin

Read Corbin's Story::The Birth here

Later in the day we brought Emme back to meet her brother.  She had been anticipating this event for months and was so excited.  When we got to the hospital room Emme walked right up to M and said "where is my baby?"  To this day she calls him her baby.  Luckily, M thought it was great that Emme took ownership over her brother so quickly.  It was only fitting that Emme be the first to hold Corbin.

Proud big sister.

She is always talking M's ear off.  

My first time holding Corbin.

Gregg's first time holding Corbin.

M's son and Emme and Corbin's brother came to visit at the same time. He's such a sweetie.

Getting changed by M.

Emme and her older brother are trouble together.  I love watching the bond they have.  They are always immediate friends whenever they are together.

Qualities

I totally had a post about how horrifically bad Halloween night turned out this year.  Luckily, I didn't save it before my iPad died so it disappeared forever.  Sometimes days like those should be forgotten.  Let me just share this little number about the night. 

Gregg at school::alone::baby crying::toddler screaming::hitting::throwing::mommy crying::doorbell ringing::dog barking::sugar high::costume fiascos::late::trunk or treat::trick or treating::girl running::home::cutting girl out of costume::door bell ringing::baby crying::dog barking::toddler screaming::sticky::bed::Gregg home

Phew!  That's was refreshing. 

Moving on. 

I feel like I've been too rough about Emme lately and really she has some awesome qualities.  For example. 

That girl has NO fear.  Because of that, she will talk to anyone.  She melts hearts.  We attended a viewing a while back and she could sense that everyone was very sad.  She reached her arms out to each of the family members and gave them all huge squeezes. Not once, but several times.  Most of them she had never met and I could tell they needed a small girl's love. 

Once, I took her to our local aquarium.  There was a severely crippled man there in a wheel chair.  Emme walked directly up to him and had a conversation about the otters.  As if she noticed no difference.  I could tell he was taken a back that a little girl would talk so candid with him and by the warmth in his eyes I knew it made him happy. 

Emme is super intelligent. She loves puzzles and books. She is getting so good at identifying where the puzzle pieces need to go.  We only have to read her a book a few times before she memorizes it.  I can tell she will be a good reader.  I'm always so proud when she will recite me an entire book from memory.  These two things are the only time she will sit still. 

She was in Corbin's face the other day. Usually, this is time to panic.  I asked her what she was doing. She replied "I just pretending to eat him." 

She will lip sync and dance on command. 

 

She says the best prayers I've ever heard from a three year old without any help.  Gregg's dad is having major health problems right now and she always asks to bless him. One day she told me she was going to be a doctor when she got big so she could fix him.  Melt my heart. 

Several times she has put her arm around Gregg and me at the same time and announced "this is my famawee (family)." 

It's things like these that make being her mommy awesome.  

I'm Surviving

Late Friday afternoon we got news that we were able to come home. We were starting to worry we wouldn't hear anything until the next week. I even cancelled an appt on Monday and called Em's school to tell them she wouldn't be there. But alas!  We finally were given freedom. My poor family was ready for us to leave I'm sure!  

Living out of suitcases with a brand new baby isn't the easiest.  Plus, Gregg had to work the last week we were there so that pretty much sucked.  Luckily, my family was awesome and helped a ton.  My sister in law took Emme almost every day, my sister watched Corbin while I took a nap, my mom slept an entire night with Emme because she was scared, and food was provided so I didn't have to cook.  I also have to mention my awesome sister in law that we stayed with the first week who cooked, did laundry, babysat Emme, and came with me to Corbin's circumcism.  Oh and my cute nephews who gave up their rooms for us.  Now you can see why they were sick of us!  Not many new moms get the treatment I did, that's for sure. 

Here it is Wednesday. Corbin is two weeks, Emme and Gregg are back to school, and I'm adjusting to being a mom of two.  I'm surviving and instead of freaking out or complaining I've decided to be thankful for the reasons I'm hanging in there and count my blessings. So, here they are. 

1. Emme has school from 9-12 and rides the bus so she is gone from 8-1. 

2. Emme still takes naps when she gets home from school.  Hallelujah!

3. Corbin is an angel baby and hardly complains when his sister suddenly scratches, grabs him, or bounces a bouncy ball off of his head. 

4. Gregg takes one of the middle of the night feedings.

5. My hair does a bun well.

6. Corbin is an angel baby.  This deserved two. 

7. I'm not working right now

8. Both of my kids are sleeping right now and I'm going to nap when I'm done typing this. 

9. Seriously, Corbin is the easiest newborn so far. Okay, three. 

So there you have it. I will choose not to freak out or make a big deal, as Emme says, about the fact that I'm constantly on Emme patrol around Corbin, or that Emme might go to bed dirty and without her teeth being brushed when Gregg's at school.  I will also not make a big deal that I'm exhausted because that it to be expected. Yes, I will save my fears and whining for another day.  

Please stay tuned for a recount of our experiences with Corbin's adoption. It was an amazing week and one I want to write down and remember forever even if it's only for me.  

Therapy School Blues

Emme has been in therapy school for a little over two months now.  

She has three goals and her teachers rate her every day on them. 

I had an appointment with her Behavioral Therapist, Dr. J, not long after she started and wouldn't you know that Emme was an angel, following directions well and hitting all of her goals.  It made me feel a little sheepish.  Maybe Emme didn't need such an intense school. Maybe she could follow directions in a very structured setting.  Maybe it was me and my not so great parenting.  Dr. J reassured me that most kids go through a honeymoon phase meaning, they aren't familiar with their surroundings or teachers so they are on their best behavior. It's also typical that they lose it when they get home because they've held in their typical behavior all day. Emme had the biggest tantrums I've ever seen when she got home from school the first month or so.  Like, seriously possessed type tantrums. It was rough. 

It's not that I wasn't happy that Emme was doing so well at school, but how were they suppose to help her behavior at home if they weren't seeing that behavior at school? 

A couple weeks ago I had another appointment with Dr. J.  I was able to observe Emme behind a tinted glass during school while Dr. J and I talked about Emme's goals. I was even able to talk to one of her teachers while Emme was at recess.  Let's just say, honeymoon phase is over.  Now that Emme is comfortable with her classmates and teachers, her true colors are starting to show.  All of the behaviors we've been seeing are now coming out while at school. 

Overall, they still felt like Emme was doing well and Dr. J told me they have never had to go to her for help which is a really good sign. That was...until today. 

I got a phone call from Dr. J  today while Emme was still at school.  Apparently, Emme was really acting out. She peed her pants twice and was biting and hitting the other kids multiple times.  She became so out of control they had to consult with Dr. J.   Emme's side of the story was that she got to go read with Dr. J and that she needed me and was sad. Break my heart.  I wanted to hold and squeeze her forever to reassure her I would always be there. 

It seems to me that Gregg and I aren't the only ones feeling stressed right now.  I'm guessing Emme senses change and isn't sure how to handle it. Plus, she hasn't seen much of Gregg this week due to his finals at school, and that always shows in her behavior.  Emme is very sensitive to the emotions of others so I'm sure she can feel the anxiousness in our home.  Tomorrow will be another busy and stressful day for her so I'm very worried.  Her whole world is about to flip upside down.  I just pray she handles it well.