Monday, January 26, 2015

If Only to Understand

Last week we had a morning full of accomplishments.  Emme had a couple bites of cereal, her teeth were brushed, and she had matching socks on.  She screamed at Corbin in the car, but it was quickly put to rest when I started singing "Apples and Bananas."  We both giggled when we sang Ooples and boonoonoos.  We were only three minutes late getting her to school.

After a long day she came home, grabbed both her and Corbin's drinks out of the fridge, handed Corbin his milk then dragged his head on her lap while they downed their sippy cups together.  It was a perfect day.  Sure there were probably tantrums here and there and Corbin is more than needy right now while he cuts his last molar, but it was normal.  I felt like a mom of a four year old and a 15 month old.  Something that is anything, but THE normal around here.

It's amazing what 2 years of therapy, being in school full time, and a change in medication can do for a child with ADHD.  I feel like I'm finally getting to know the real Emme.  I feel like she's finally getting to know herself.  We still have daily struggles, but life is more manageable than it once was.

Not everyone agrees with our choices as parents.  It's easy to judge other parents.  Even easier when their child has behavioral issues.  How do I know? I've been there.  I knew all the answers at one point as well.  It was a hard pill to swallow when all the answers I knew didn't fit the questions to my child.  Slowly, but surely I began to realize not all situations are created equality.  My judgement walls were broken down.

Ultimately, I want what's best for my children.  I want them to know God.  I want them to know how to make wise choices.  I want them to learn how to succeed despite trials and setbacks.  I pray for them.  I seek guidance for them.  I cry over them.  We've put time, money, sweat, and tears into helping Emme be as successful as she can be.  We will continue to do that for both of our children.

It's so easy to know what's best for others.  It's simple to state what you would do if you were in their shoes and had a child like theirs.  I ask that we swallow our harsh words and oversharing of "I know best" articles on Facebook.  Offer support and a desire to understand despite what you choose to do for your own family or what you think you would choose for someone else's.  Our little family would be so much more productive if there were more people willing to try and understand Emme instead of hearing she has ADHD and assuming they know everything there is to know because they've heard a story or two of what ADHD entails.  Mean words, evil looks, and worse of all... wordy Facebook shares have never been very helpful.  The same goes for a lot of situations.

1 comment:

  1. Judgy Judgertons aren't helpful. They need to be set aside and given little thought, so they don't take up too much mental energy. I've been thinking a lot about this subject this week as we are making some decisions that I'm sure some people will question and disagree with. Ultimately, they haven't walked the long Rocky journey in your shoes, parenting your child. They are speaking from a place where they do not see the whole picture. It's a limited perspective. Sometimes I think people don't know what to say, so they say the first thing that comes to mind, which is often a dumb question. It doesn't make it any less painful, but it helps me to understand that they haven't lived it so they can't really know. And forgive them their stupidity.