Monday, August 26, 2013

4th Lap Around Cont...

Read the first part here.

While on POPS (progesterone only BC), I was having quite a bit of pain.  My abdomen was tender all the time, my back ached and I had no energy whatsoever.  I felt like I could sleep all day.  It didn't make me a fun wife or mom.  

By this point I was pretty fed up with it all.  I decided it was time to get real about thinking about a hysterectomy.  My doctor and I had a good conversation about it and he promised my quality of life would go up big time if I decided that path, but that it was a big decision that needed a lot of thought.  I asked many questions and felt good about his answers.  I was actually getting excited about the end result and being pain free in my abdomen.  

I started to pray earnestly about the decision to have this major surgery.  I asked anyone I could about their experience having a hysterectomy.   I searched the scriptures, Gregg and I fasted and finally we went to the temple.  By this point it had been a couple of months and I still didn't have an answer so I just knew in the temple I would receive peace about getting a hysterectomy.  I didn't...I was so uneasy and confused the whole time.  Finally, I whispered my angst to my husband and he so wisely told me that maybe that was my answer.  Maybe it just wasn't right at this time.  I knew as he said it that he was right.  It wasn't the right time.  The timing to me felt so good, but the Lord knows better than I do.  I returned home a little sad, a little confused with my future, but with an answer.  I wouldn't be having a hysterectomy quite yet.  

I had Gregg give my a Priesthood Blessing when we got home and in it he promised me I would have a hysterectomy one day and that I would know for a surety that it was the right time.  I finally felt peace about not going through with it.  I'm thankful for the knowledge that the Lord knows of my pain and my future.  

I decided to have another Laparoscopy instead.  My fourth since finding out about my endo.  I wasn't and I'm not ready to do another round of Lupron so I figured if I could clear out some junk and stay on the POPS it might help bit.  

The day of surgery I was having a lot of pain so I was ready as ever.  The surgery went great and they found quite a bit of endo.  Although I still had some pain from my incisions, my abdomen felt better than it had in months.  It didn't take long to see I made the right decision to have a Laparoscopy.  My energy was back and I felt like I could make it through work so much easier.  I'm still not sure what's in store for my future, but I'm happy I at least have a break from most of the pain I was having even if it is temporary.  Meanwhile, the POPS aren't doing that great at stopping my periods because I started a new brand for insurance purposes (dang insurance), but I'm hoping my body just needs a few months to get used to them.  

So, there you have it.  A glimpse into what it feels like to be an endo queen (my awesome term for us endo girls).  If it's TMI feel free not to read my blog.  If you can relate, feel free to share your experiences.  I'd love to hear them!

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