Monday, December 30, 2013

Apology from the Circus

Dear Doctor,

I would like to apologize for the unexpected circus show you were witness to today.  

Thank you for holding my baby while I took my three year old to the bathroom to clean up her poopy butt three seconds after you walked in the room.  I know you had a thousand other things you could have been doing.  Emme has decided to give up on potty training.  If you want to call it that.  She has been "training" for over a year and she could give a crap less.  Pun intended.

Sorry Corbin screamed for 99% of the visit.  I know how hard it is to concentrate with a screaming baby.  I'm glad you called for backup.  I'm pretty sure that nurse will forever dread our appointments.  Thanks to the chaos I paid no attention to my baby's stats and instead focused my energy on keeping Emme away from your computer and medical supplies.

If you at any point you looked at Emme and thought "wow, this little girl is like a rabid raccoon stuck in a cage," then we were on the same page.  She was extra feisty today.  Actually, that's just what I tell people so they don't think she's like that all the time.  She is.  

Speaking of raccoons, does she always treat Corbin like a juicy steak?  Why yes, yes she does. Don't worry,  I NEVER put him down if she's in the room with him. Thanks for being concerned for his safety and to answer your question, yes, it is exhausting.  

Also, thanks for breaking the news softly that my poor two month old has bronchiolitis and torticollis.   I look forward to spending the next three weeks stuck in the house while my sick little baby coughs up his lungs.  I also look forward to the added physical therapy appointments I totally have time for.  Not that I'm blaming you of course.  It's just a series of unfortunate events.  

Lastly, please personally apologize to your front desk ladies that my daughter emulated Darla from Finding Nemo.  If your fish hide from you for now on, you know who to blame.  I hope the big sticker you gave her comes off the tank eventually.  I tried my best to peel it off, but it was a lost cause. The sticker she stuck on the table shouldn't stick as long.  I wouldn't know though as I decided getting our Ringling show out of there was more important and your secretary readily agreed.  

When our time was finally coming to an end I saw the pity in your eyes.  Your words of kindness made me choke up and I could not speak.  I pray for the day our hard work pays off and you no longer look at me with sad eyes.  I love my children ADHD, colic, reflux, rabidness, and all.  I hope that shows through the shadows under my eyes.

Your patience was much appreciated.
The Animal Handler  

1 comment:

  1. Oh honey. It's so hard. I've experienced appointments like this this, where your pride is demolished and your energy sapped by the chaos. I'm so sorry!