Apology from the Circus

Dear Doctor,

I would like to apologize for the unexpected circus show you were witness to today.  

Thank you for holding my baby while I took my three year old to the bathroom to clean up her poopy butt three seconds after you walked in the room.  I know you had a thousand other things you could have been doing.  Emme has decided to give up on potty training.  If you want to call it that.  She has been "training" for over a year and she could give a crap less.  Pun intended.

Sorry Corbin screamed for 99% of the visit.  I know how hard it is to concentrate with a screaming baby.  I'm glad you called for backup.  I'm pretty sure that nurse will forever dread our appointments.  Thanks to the chaos I paid no attention to my baby's stats and instead focused my energy on keeping Emme away from your computer and medical supplies.

If you at any point you looked at Emme and thought "wow, this little girl is like a rabid raccoon stuck in a cage," then we were on the same page.  She was extra feisty today.  Actually, that's just what I tell people so they don't think she's like that all the time.  She is.  

Speaking of raccoons, does she always treat Corbin like a juicy steak?  Why yes, yes she does. Don't worry,  I NEVER put him down if she's in the room with him. Thanks for being concerned for his safety and to answer your question, yes, it is exhausting.  

Also, thanks for breaking the news softly that my poor two month old has bronchiolitis and torticollis.   I look forward to spending the next three weeks stuck in the house while my sick little baby coughs up his lungs.  I also look forward to the added physical therapy appointments I totally have time for.  Not that I'm blaming you of course.  It's just a series of unfortunate events.  

Lastly, please personally apologize to your front desk ladies that my daughter emulated Darla from Finding Nemo.  If your fish hide from you for now on, you know who to blame.  I hope the big sticker you gave her comes off the tank eventually.  I tried my best to peel it off, but it was a lost cause. The sticker she stuck on the table shouldn't stick as long.  I wouldn't know though as I decided getting our Ringling show out of there was more important and your secretary readily agreed.  

When our time was finally coming to an end I saw the pity in your eyes.  Your words of kindness made me choke up and I could not speak.  I pray for the day our hard work pays off and you no longer look at me with sad eyes.  I love my children ADHD, colic, reflux, rabidness, and all.  I hope that shows through the shadows under my eyes.

Your patience was much appreciated.
  

Sincerely,
The Animal Handler  

Mary's Lullaby

As I mentioned before, this Christmas season has been tame.  Having a very sick baby has given me a lot of cuddle time which means I've had a lot of time to think.  I've dreamed of having a baby boy since before I knew of our infertility.  To actually have this said baby in my arms is surreal.  

While I was holding Corbin during singing time in Primary the chorister pointed out to the kids that Gregg and I were like Mary and Joseph. Joseph was not Christ's biological father, but he was given the responsibility to raise him.  Someone also chose us to be Corbin's parents and has put a lot of faith in us.  

For the first time ever I have really reflected about Mary's feelings upon meeting her baby boy that sacred humble night.  Unlike Mary, my son will not redeem the world, but LIKE Mary I worry about the trials my small babe will endure in the future.  I know he will only be little for a short time and soon enough the world will be against him.  Will I be able to protect him?  

Eventually, he will be his own person.  I hope he will have a desire to marry and have children.  I hope I can teach him to be a good husband and father.  I hope he will know what the spirit feels like and will follow Heavenly Father's plan for him.  

I have many hopes and dreams for his life on this Earth.  Right now though, he is mine.  He is a perfect child of God.

We sang the most beautiful song in my church choir for our Christmas meeting.  I'm thankful for Mary and her willingness to raise our Lord and Redeemer.  I'm thankful for Christ who died for my children.  I wish you all a very beautiful Christmas.  One where you can reflect on the miraculous event that saved us all. 





Mary's Lullaby

All mine in your loveliness baby, all mine. 
All mine in your holiness baby divine. 
Sing on herald angels in chorus sublime; 
Sing on and adore, for tonight you are mine. 

The wise men are coming to worship their King, 
The shepherds are kneeling their homage to bring. 
Out yonder the star over Judah will keep. 
No harm will befall thee, then sleep baby sleep. 

O let me enfold thee, my baby tonight, 
While legions are singing in joyous delight. 
A new star has risen to hail thee divine, 
For you are a king, but tonight you are mine. 

Away spectered future of sorrow and plight, 
Away to the years that must follow tonight. 
The pangs of Gethsemane, let them be dim, 
The red drops on Calvary, not Lord, for Him! 

O let me enfold thee, my baby tonight, 
While legions are singing in joyous delight. 
A new star has risen to hail thee divine, 
For you are a king, but tonight you are mine. 

All mine in your loveliness baby, all mine.
All mine in your holiness baby divine.
Sing on herald angels in chorus sublime; 
Sing on and adore, for tonight you are mine.

Ode to Next December

December 2013....You suck.

I'm tired, so very tired.  I blame December.  I blame winter.  I blame asthma, bronchiolitis, and ADHD.

Poor, poor Corbin had a brutal two month check up.  He has bronchiolitis, torticollis, reflux, and his little tummy hurts a lot.  He's been a really fussy baby, but I would be too if I had to deal with all of that.  I'm over him coughing up mucous while I watch helplessly, but here's to a few more weeks of it.  I don't suggest it to anyone.  Then there's the torticollis that requires physical therapy.  I'm too tired to explain anymore.  The best news is that we are now proud owners of the most expensive formula out there for his hurting stomach.  We call it liquid gold.  It may actually be more pricey that gold.  It smells bad and costs as much as a car payment, but he has been so much happier on it.  I would pay hundreds more because he seems to feel better and we no longer have a screaming baby for 8hrs straight.  Let's pray it continues to work.

Then there's Emme.  Emme is as Emme does and Emme does some beautiful poo art.  Said no one ever.  Except maybe Emme.  Her mirror recently got a brown make over if you know what I'm saying.  I hope for the day she can be trusted around her own feces.  Or any feces for that matter.

Then there's Christmas.  Oh Christmas.  You will be very simple this year.  Corbin is just too sick to go out in this crappy air.  Trust me, I've tried.  It has not been a festive year whatsoever.  I hate the pressure of Christmas.  If I've learned one thing throughout this month, it would be that it's okay if you don't have Elf on a Shelf, you haven't been to temple square, you only put up a few decorations, and the only Christmasy thing you've done is stare at a broken gingerbread house.  You will survive and your children will not be scarred for life.  I think.

Here's to hoping December 2014 will be a little less sucky.  

Baby Looga

"Emme what did you do at school today?"

"I have a baby Looga!"

"What is a Looga?"

"A baby Looga!" 

"What is a Looga?"

"A BABY LOOGA!!!" 

"What does a Looga look like?" 

"A whale!"  As in duh, mom. 

She then ran to her backpack and pulled out the cutest Looga I've ever seen.