Thank you daylight savings for changing my children's wake up time from an already unbearable 6:30 AM to an impossible 5:30 AM. Sure, in reality it's the same time, but yet it feels so wrong.
Thank you dishwasher motor for burning out and filling our home with smoke and a nice electrical fire smell. The timing was perfect as we were already buying a washer and dryer. I love killing two birds with one stone...or two bank accounts with three faulty appliances.
Thank you Lacey for hand washing all of the dishes tonight unknowingly flooding the basement due to the dishwasher being unhooked. You're an idiot.
Thank you Dirty Diet Coke for being my happy place right now. You complete me.